come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize