I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
