Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
