also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize