I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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