You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
