yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
