One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
