The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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