The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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