just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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