Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
