It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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