the day after is always just damage control
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
