She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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