yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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