i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
