found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize