Are we in a gay sports bar?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
