he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize