im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize