I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize