I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
