she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
