at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I am naked and annoyed.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
