I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
