She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
we're so committed to being not committed
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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