I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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