I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
