Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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