guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
