god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
