there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Enjoy the penises
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
