ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
