Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize