true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
