i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
