take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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