so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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