I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize