how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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