3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
