Farmville is her only friend.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
