My boss' voice literally gives me gas
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
What a dumb baby whore.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
