Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
