did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize