Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
