I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
