Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
