another moral hangover. fuck.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
