Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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