You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Actions speak louder than pants.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
