Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I checked into jail on foursquare
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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