Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
