she looked like the before picture.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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