he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
