This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
