He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
