Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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