He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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