yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
