He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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