we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
