it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
All I want is dick and wine.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
