so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
