my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize