she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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