Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
