At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
