so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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