i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
