I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize