I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize